Nonviolent Communication offers a structure to connect verbally with everyone else you meet. But you must start from a connected sense of self, for which focusing is very useful, and the desire to connect – not manipulate or teach! Nonviolent Communication offers a way to find the needs in you which have been met or unmet and to hear the needs in other people rather than their judgements, criticisms, overwhelm or demands of you. This process can be used between teachers and teachers, to parents, managers, with children and taught to children for them to use it with other children. It is also an amazing way to connect in words with yourself as you go throughout your day.
When you wonder why you immediately said, ‘NO’ to the child who asked a question, dread a meeting with a parent after school, hope the management wont make a certain decision or wonder why today was a particularly wonderful one even though you had expected otherwise. This process helps us to see that at the level of need we are all the same. Once we realise that we all have the same needs, for pace, clarity, rest, acceptance, contribution we are no longer engaged in a fight, disagreement or in an unending struggle to protect ourselves we can find novel strategies which serve everyones needs. But, as importantly as this, we also discover that we are able to work together, negotiate and live in peace with ourselves. Almost all of us long for a communit
y like this this is a method for finding other people who are working like this now and for being able to decode the humanity in everyone we meet. You can find much more information on Montessori theory and practice at Montessori Commons.